Take A Chance.

(Source: iamaica)

HAVING GUY FRIENDS.

No betrayal, no drama, no jealousy. Guys are much more entertaining and they’re straight up. They’re like your brothers and got your back, instead of stab you in it. Most people misinterpret girls who have numerous guy friends. What they don’t see is that sometimes, girls find a best friend in a guy. It’s not always about flirting. Just intimate and honest friendship. ♥

I just had the worst day of my unemployed life.

I went to Asdfghjkl Bank this morning for my very first job interview. Honestly, I feel pressured. I’m not yet ready to have a job but everybody’s pushing me into having one, and so when my uncle referred me to his officemate who works at the said bank, I decided to give it a try.

My sched for interview was 9, I arrived a quarter earlier.. only to find out that I have to take an exam first. Goodness. I expected that I’d be interviewed right away because I have this “padrino”. But I was wrong. Fail.

Fill-up. Fill-up. Fill-up.

I finished taking the exam by lunchtime, and I got annoyed by how the officer’s asking me and the other applicants to return at 2:00pm for the interview (finally). I was like, dafuq? I wanna go home. I don’t want to be here.

2:00pm. I was about to get annoyed again when the interviewer called my name. Crap, I’m the first one to be interviewed. After asking some questions about my application form, the pretty officer started interviewing me. And yes, I stammered and got mental-blocked on most of the questions thrown at me. Great.

“Tell me more about yourself..”

Wow. What a mainstream question. Lol. But honestly, I got intimated. I suddenly remembered how people would treat me as less capable of doing some things just because I looked like I’m only 16. Some relatives (the ones who are pressuring me to have a job) would often ask, “Anong trabaho naman makukuha mo? Mukha ka lang highschool graduate.” Like, really? Srsly? You want me to work now and then you’re there, questioning me about my capabilities? How cool is that?

And that’s the reason why I appear to be reserved and quiet when mixed with a new crowd. I don’t have enough confidence and I often think that people tend to look at me like I’m only a kid. No matter how much other people tell me that I’m pretty, I don’t believe them. Because there are so much more out there who just looks at me and tends to make me feel that I’m not.

The only thing I remember which I answered on the question was, “I only look like I’m 16, but there’s so much more about me you may want to know.” True enough. There’s so much more about me. I think it’s not right to judge me based on how I look. But then again and again, I forgot that I applied for a position which requires a pleasing personality.. which I know I lack.

Pleasing personality = Form + Substance. Well, this is reality.

I went home teary-eyed, swearing that I don’t want to work now. I don’t want to feel again the nervousness and intimidation I felt during the interview this morning. I don’t wanna see people looking at me because I don’t have a pretty face and a sexy waist. I don’t want people judging me based on how I look.

I don’t know what to do with my life now. -_-

Inaasahan ko ng mangyayari ‘to. Pero malamang, nasaktan pa din ako. Sobrang sakit parin, katulad nung una at pangalawang beses na pangiiwan mo sa akin. Wala naman akong magawa kasi desisyon mo yan. Gusto mo yan. Kahit pa magmakaawa ako sayo na wag mo ‘kong iwan, alam kong wala ng makakapagpabago ng desisyon mo.

At wala akong ibang magagawa kundi tanggapin na lang na wala na, wala na ulit, wala na talaga. Sana nga, huli na ‘to. Pakawalan mo na ‘ko ng tuluyan kasi gusto ko rin naman maranasan na sumaya.

Yung saya na walang kapantay, na hindi ko naranasan sayo.

(Source: iamaica)

(Source: utakbiha)

Ka-chat ko kagabe yung friend ni AJ na friend ko na rin dahil eventually naging close kame over the past year. Haha. At hindi ko alam kung bakit biglang napunta samin ni AJ yung topic.

Lol. Pero ang sarap isipin na ganun pala siya sakin noon. Hindi ko akalain. Akala ko kase, typical pogi lang siya (if you know what I mean). Pero kahit naman hindi, hanggang dun lang talaga sa stage na mahalaga siya sakin ang kaya kong ibigay sa kanya.

Kinaganda ko ‘to eh. Hahahaha. Pero may part sa akin na nanghihinayang.

Haynako. Buhay. :D